No Anesthesia
by Evil-Like-A-Hobbit
Summary: Derek doesn't sign the divorce papers. Addison and Derek, set in season 2. They move forward in their relationship by starting from the beginning and remembering why they fell in love. My take on what should of happened with Addek.
1. Chapter 1

Hey, This is my Addek story. I'm anticipating it being quite lengthy. Its a story I want to move at a relatively slow pace. I want to enjoy writing all the details of their relationship rather than have monumentally large time jumps and vague scenes. So basically the premise is Addison only slept with Mark once- They didn't have a relationship after Derek had left. Derek and Meredith were a one night only situation too- Their relationship wont have any impact on the story in the future. I guess this story is just what I would of wanted, if Shonda had decided to move forward with their relationship, rather than using Addison as a pawn in the game of Merder chess! I hope you enjoy it, and don't hesitate to leave feedback! Thanks, Charlotte.

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><p>Two weeks had passed since she arrived in Seattle. Two weeks since she'd handed him the divorce papers. Two weeks of betraying her heart. She had ostracised herself from the pain of losing him, the mere thought of her life moving forward without him made her heart beat violently against her ribcage. But she was a Forbes Montgomery and she was taught to ignore the warning's of a shattered heart and to move on with grace and confidence. She didn't feel confident sitting on the bench outside Seattle Grace Hospital. The cold of the metal slates permeated through her skirt and sent a chill up her spine making her shudder. Addison was early for their 'chat', she'd finished her rounds in record time and her interns seemed overly eager to be getting on with their patient loads. It was just typical she'd thought. The one time she had wanted to keep busy, her interns showed initiative. So instead she decided to sit outside alone and wait, It was easier than being a sitting duck in the cafeteria for everyone to gossip about. She was the constant talked about subject; the red headed devil who had swooped in and sent 'McDreamy' into a short tempered rampage throughout the hospital. He always was one for succumbing to anger quickly. She used to find it endearing. Passionate. There was going to be nothing passionate about the talk they were about to have. He would look at her with his eyes steeped in sadness. The eyes she had taken home in. Her comfort. They would be apologetic, wanting to say more, but giving in and not fighting for their marriage. Addison flicked away a small tear that had began growing at the edge of her eye. She stared out to the sporadic trails of people walking into the hospital. Most looked too busy to stop, their eyes not breaking from the sliding doors. But there were the odd few who looked scared, whose panicked eyes scattered around from left to right. She felt like she was overstepping just staring at them, like it wasn't her place to insert herself into their business. She shouldn't be observing their weakness that they were trying to mask. She looked away, fiddling with a thread that had loosened on her jacket. She twiddled it around her finger, cutting off the circulation slightly as the thread lay embedded in the growingly pale skin. Derek had asked for space. They had barely spoken for the two weeks she had been in Seattle, a quick converse if they were dealing with a patient together. Addison's advances in getting an answer on their marriage had resulted in Derek walking away, and the constant repeated sentence, "I just need more time Addison".<p>

Derek had sought her out yesterday evening. She was sitting in the nurses station making notes on a chart when she had felt a hand brush her shoulder. She had instinctively removed her glasses to the top of her head and turned to the right to see who had demanded her attention. He looked tired to her, his jawline unshaven and his eyes slightly puffy from him rubbing his face to keep awake. She smiled lovingly at him, but was only reciprocated with a slight twitch of his lips. He had perched himself on the desk beside her, not making himself comfortable, but making it more accessible to talk to Addison quickly. Fiddling with his phone in his hand, Derek had moved his head toward Addison's direction but only briefly looked at her before staring at the floor and stated, "I'm ready to talk."

Addison had been caught off guard and before she could reply, he'd interrupted her, continuing to talk.

"But not right now, I have an emergency surgery to go to, a bleed in the frontal lobe, and I'll be in there a while." He'd shifted his body slightly so his legs were nearly touching Addison's. "But tomorrow after rounds, we can grab a coffee and talk. Okay?" Derek had stood up, slipping his phone into his pocket as Addison whispered,

"Okay" in response. He'd started to walk away when she'd called after him. "Derek?" He'd stopped in the hallway and turned around to see Addison on her feet by the chair she had just been sitting in.

"Yes Addison?" He'd responded. Addison had fiddled with the ring on her finger as she'd looked back at Derek and said,

"Good luck with your surgery... and get a good nights sleep. You look tired".

Her last sentiment surprised him slightly, He had forgotten momentarily that she knew him better than anyone else, and could read his face and know exactly what he was feeling. He smirked and looked at the floor before turning his head towards Addison.

"Thank you. I'll speak to you tomorrow. Night"

Addison had returned to her seat at the empty nurses station and held her head in her hands as she contemplated the decision Derek would deliver the next day.

Addison's mind wandered as she wondered where she would go from Seattle. Despite her best efforts, she had felt quite at home in the wet city and had already began making friends in the hospital. She could see why Derek escaped New York for Seattle. It was busy like a large city but far more peaceful and still than New York could ever be. But she wouldn't want to stay and watch Derek move forward with his life with a new woman. Without Addison. Before Addison could contemplate the horrifying image of Derek with someone else her phone buzzed in her pocket. She fumbled with the button on her pocket, her fingers slow from sitting stationary in her lap in the cold morning air. Finally she grasped it and jammed a finger into the green call button.

"Derek" She Gasped, sounding flushed.

"Hey, You weren't in the cafeteria, I was just looking for..."

Addison Interrupted him. "I wanted some air, the cafeteria was full of watchful eyes, I'm still top of the gossip bill. I'm outside the entrance on the bench"

"Okay, I'll be two minutes- Don't go anywhere!"

Addison scoffed "And where would I go Derek?"

"I'll see you in a minute. Bye."

Addison held the phone in her hand as she breathed in and out shakily. She was preparing herself, trying to take control of her breathing before Derek showed up. She tucked a stray hair behind her ear and pressed her hand over her chest, trying to tame her beating heart. She flicked her head towards the entrance and caught Derek coming down the stairs, in his typical navy scrubs and dark jacket. His hands were full with a coffee cup in each. Addison turned away, and waited for him to sit next to her. She felt him slide into the spot next to her, their hips touching. She inclined her head towards him and he offered her one of the coffee's.

"I had them put in an extra shot" Derek added.

"Thanks, Dutch courage of some sort, right?"

"Addison..."

Addison took a large gulp of the coffee, her brow furrowing slightly as she got upset, but trying to distract herself with the scolding liquid. She let out a deep sigh and turned to Derek, looking him directly in the eyes.

"Just say it Derek, I can't spend another second in this weird limbo of whose going to speak first. Just rip the band aid off"

Derek put his coffee on the floor and shifted on the bench until his entire body was facing Addison. He rested his elbow on the back of the bench and placed his hand on the side of his face.

"No anaesthesia"

"None" Addison added, looking deeply from the top of his head to the creases around his eyes.

"Okay then. Addison I...I've been thinking for days now, ever since you showed up with the divorce papers, that maybe we should go our separate ways. Clearly we've been hurting and ignoring each other. For years".

"Derek..."Addison interrupted and Derek put his hand up to signal her to be quiet.

"No, let me finish. I'm not done talking. You shouldn't of slept with my best friend, you shouldn't of needed that from him. I'm supposed to be the one to love you and I don't know if I can forgive you what you did. But I'm to blame too. I didn't see you. I got obsessed with surgery after surgery and I forgot to work on our marriage. And for that I'm sorry Addison, deeply sorry. We made vows and promises and we both broke them. But we've got history Addison, eleven christmas', eleven birthdays, eleven years of being each others family"

"What are you saying Derek?"

"I'm saying that I'm not ready to give up on that. I want more years and more memories. I didn't sign the divorce papers Addison, I couldn't do it. I'm not ready to stop fighting."

Derek moved on the bench so he could cup his hands around Addison's. They were freezing cold and he instinctively began rubbing them to give them warmth. Addison was staring at the floor, her body arched forward as if she was about to stand up. She was almost unaware of Derek holding her hands, It was the constant rubbing on the back of them that awoke her from her shocked state. She cleared her throat and pulled her left hand out of Derek's grip to tuck her hair behind her ears again- a habit she had picked up from an early age. Addison relaxed into the back of the bench and crossed her legs.

"I wasn't expecting you to say that. I thought... I thought you were done. That our marriage was over Derek. I hadn't anticipated you wanting to try. I'm a bit shocked."

"Always planning a step ahead, still?"Derek laughed slightly.

"You know me too well. Derek I don't want you to think I'm not happy. I am, you're the love of my life, I always wanted to fight, but I thought you were done, you left after the Mark situation and I truly believed that that was the final straw. I was trying to get my mind around moving to another city before you came down after rounds. I was trying to figure out where my life was going to go from here. But now..." Addison rubbed her face with both hands, slotting her palms into her eye sockets as she tried to make sense of the situation.

"I shouldn't of run away Addison. It was cowardly and weak. I shouldn't of done it. But I was numb, I couldn't look at you or be in the same city. I should of just cooled down for the night and then come back and talk to you instead of eloping. I used it as an excuse to cover up the damage I had done to our marriage too. But no excuses now, I am here and I want to try again at our marriage Addison. We can make It work, we know what not to do right?"

"Yeah, we've perfected what not to do" Addison half laughed and sighed simultaneously.

"Well there's something we agree on- progress!" Derek added before Addison shoved his shoulder playfully with her own.

"Derek I don't want to go back to New York, its too steeped in bad memories and we'd get stuck back in the same routine. But I don't think I've got thick enough skin to watch some woman pine over you every second of the day. We need a clean slate. So if there is going to be pining glances between you and someone else, you need to tell me now, because I won't stay and watch the show, I'm not a masochist."

"Addison there's nobody. I'll be totally honest with you because I think we need to be if this is going to work. When I first came to Seattle, the night before I started my first shift, I had a one night stand with a girl in a bar, but it was nothing- I thought sleeping with someone else might make me feel something. But I only felt more lonely and guilty too. She's an Intern at the hospital, first year I think, but she isn't interested in me, She only wants in on my surgery's. Nothing else.

"Okay. I believe you." Addison added before pausing and taking Derek's hand and intertwining it with her own.

"Where do we go from here Addison? You know I live in a trailer. Its not very Addison-esque!" Derek smirked as he stared at Addison, who had raised her perfectly plucked eyebrow at the mention of the trailer.

"I'm staying at the Archfield, and I'll continue to until we're ready to move back in together. And until then, we'll date. Start from the beginning. We need to re-learn what made us fall in love. We need to be just Derek and Addison again. Not world class surgeons with busy schedules."

"Okay then." Derek added before lifting his coffee cup off the floor. Addison copied him and they chinked cups.

"To dating" They said in unison before taking swigs of their drinks. They both burst out laughing hysterically, clutching their sides as they tried to regain control.

"Oh this is going to be fun" Derek choked out before wiping the tears from his eyes.

"You bet your ass it will, I'm a great gal to date. Expensive, but great" Addison smiled as Derek put his arm around her shoulders. They stared at each other for a while, comfortable in each others presence before Derek leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Addison's lips. He lingered, cupping her chin with his hand. He broke away from her lips and then kissed her forehead before pulling her closer to him on the bench, his arm draped over her shoulders. They sat together drinking their coffee's and not saying a word until their peace was disturbed by an impatient beeper.

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><p>I Hope you all enjoyed it. I'll try to get a chapter up every week. But I'm horrendously lazy. So stick with me. I have 13 of the chaptered planned out- so that should be a help!<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys, sorry for the horrendously late update. But life has been busy and I haven't found the time to sit down and write. UNTIL TONIGHT. Anyways thank you SO SO much for the reviews. They put a bloody huge smile on my face, and really lifted my spirits! So please keep them coming! I think you can see by this chapter that I wanted to introduce some of the other characters that are going to play a role in this story, and I also wanted to cover the feelings of doubt for Addison because I didn't want to just jump straight into Addison and Derek being happy and loved up straight away. Life is always hard and full of doubt! So please send more reviews my way, they will be welcomed with open arms! And tell your friends about the story! Cheers dudes, Charlotte.

p.s. In my Addek world, Richard and Adele are still together, and don't break up. But they have had their struggles!

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><p>A day had passed since Derek and Addison had decided to work on their marriage. They had decided the first thing they had to do was choose where they were going to stay, and much to Derek's surprise, Addison had been more than happy to stay in Seattle. They both knew that the chief would snap Addison up in a heart beat, all she had to do was arrange a contract that worked best for her.<p>

Addison sat perched on an office chair, her lab coat clad arms resting on the chiefs desk as he pushed her contract towards her with the palm of his hand.

"Okay Addison, sign and print there." The chief said pointing at a dotted line, and handing her her his silver fountain pen with his other hand. She grabbed it and the clicking of the pen lid coming loose echoed in the silent room. Addison shifted further forward on the chair, till she was barely sitting on it and printed her name on the paper, the letters of her name curling seamlessly between the many parts of her signature. As she scrawled Montgomery, she paused momentarily, unsure whether to add Shepherd. The chief cleared his throat and Addison flinched slightly before adding Shepherd at the end of her name. She looked up at the chief who was beaming at her.

"You're going to be my star Addie." The chief walked around the table and put his arm around Addison's shoulders, pulling her towards him. She rested her head on his shoulder and smiled.

"What can I say, I can't resist the best neonatal ward in the country."

"Anything you need, more nurses, new equipment. Let me know and I can see what we can do, Its about time that husband of yours stopped getting all the budget!" Addison scoffed before adding,

"I'm sure that will go down well, Satan stealing from his budget!"

"He doesn't think you're Satan Addie, Derek adores you, and he wants to make things work right?" The chief stopped walking and turned Addison till his hands were on her shoulders and she looked at the floor. Addison looked up at the chiefs concerned face and said.

"He does...we both do, and I think he really means it, I'm just scared it wont last. We hurt each other in the worst way possible in New York... What if we're still the same people?" The chief sighed before pulling Addison into a hug and spoke gently into her ear.

"You two are made for each other. And the hurt. The hurt is going to make you stronger, make you better people. Trust in the Derek you know. The Derek who is inherently kind and would do anything for you. You're going to be fine Addison. Look at me and Adele, things have a way of working themselves out." Addison sighed deeply into The chiefs shoulder and whispered,

"Thank you Richard, I needed to talk to someone." The chief smiled before adding.

"You can talk to me anytime Addison, but talk to Derek too. It can only work if you're honest with each other." Their hug broke apart and addison rubbed the chiefs arm affectionately.

"I will... I guess I should get started with work. Those babies wont deliver themselves." Addison added softy.

"Yes go, lives to save. Go be my star Addie." Addison left the room, as the chief sat back down on his chair and let out a long sigh before smiling slightly to himself as he thought about his two favourite Doctors and the situation they had got themselves into.

The morning had turned into afternoon as Addison emerged from the OR. She pulled her scrub cap off, and loosened the band around her hair, letting it fall down her back. She scratched her head where the hair had been scraped back tightly. She folded her favourite scrub cap, adorned with swirls of different hues of blue and placed it in her pocket. She picked up the eraser for the surgical board and with a deft swipe, she wiped away the surgery she had just performed which had been a success. She went to put the eraser back in its slot when she heard her name being called.

"Dr Montgomery-Shepherd?"

Addison turned around, her hair moving and covering her face slightly as she faced her intern, Izzie Stevens.

"Yes Dr Stevens?" Addison tucked the hair behind her ear as Izzie replied.

"I just wanted to thank you for letting me help out in the OR, It was an amazing case, I never thought I'd get a chance to work on one!" Izzie shifted her feet and stared at Addison with a look of respect and awe. Addison smiled, and walked towards her intern.

"You were a great help in there, you have an aptitude for my speciality Stevens, I hope you keep up the good work. I have lots to teach." Addison patted Izzie's arm and started to walk away when Izzie shouted behind her.

"Thank you so much Dr Montgomery-shepherd. I wont let you down." Addison Turned around, with a smirk on her face and saw Izzie jump in the air and pump her fist, garnering herself some filthy looks from passing doctors. Addison walked to the cafeteria and pushed open the glass doors into the warm room, filled to the brink with Doctors and Nurses eating and chatting. She joined the queue and shuffled along at a slow pace until she came to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of green juice and a chicken salad. She turned the bottle in her hand, reading the label with a look of intrigue and slight mistrust. She gave the spinach coloured liquid a shake before reading the long list of ingredients, half of which she had never heard of. Addison payed for her food and scanned the room before deciding to sit outside where she could see an empty table in the sun. She placed her food on the table before leaning over to the table next to her and asking if she could have the paper lying on one of the chairs. The doctor next to Addison was engrossed in a medical file and merely shook his head signally for her to take it. Addison muttered her thanks and settled back at her table and began reading and eating. Her lunch was interrupted when she heard someone sit down at her table. Addison folded the paper towards her so she could peer over it, and she looked down, her glasses sitting above her nostrils. She smiled and shook her paper back into an erect position and continued to read before speaking.

"Dr Shepherd." Derek smirked at his wife's formal addressing.

"Hello Dr Shepherd." He replied cheekily.

Addison folded the newspaper and placed it on the table before removing her glasses and places them on top of the paper. She grabbed her juice and took a swig before putting it back on the table and started to chat with Derek.

"I haven't seen you all day. I signed my contract with the chief. He called me his star." Derek smiled at the chiefs nickname for Addison.

"You signed your papers. That great Addie, I'm glad." As Derek was speaking Addison took another gulp of her juice.

"What are you drinking? It looks disgusting." Derek pulled a face as Addison put the lid back on the bottle.

"I'll agree it looks gross, but try it, it tastes amazing. And its full of vitamins and things I've never even heard of, so that's got to be good right?" Addison passed the bottle to Derek who eyed it with equal mistrust as Addison had in the queue. He took a hesitant sip and his eyebrows morphed into surprise as he took another much larger swig.

"Umm, its good, really good. You've got good taste Montgomery!"

"Such high praise, I don't know if my ego will be able to cope." Under the table Derek kicked Addison's feet in jest.

"Hey watch the shoes!"

"Speaking of shoes, I wanted to ask you out, on a date. With me, your handsome husband."

"What's that got to do with shoes?" Addison added quizzically.

"I'm not telling, but all I'l say is, dress casual. Something you can move in."

"Derek..."

"I'll pick you up from the Archfield at 7, ok?" Derek stood and kissed her cheek before walking towards the doors, bumping into Callie Torres who was approaching Addison's table.

"Dr Torres."

"Dr Shepherd."

As Derek greeted Callie, Addison stood up and shouted over to him.

"What do you mean wear something I can move in. What kind of clue is that!" Derek laughed at her frustration and waved before walking back into the cafeteria. Callie turned to Addison, with a look of comical confusion on her face. She set her tray on the table and sat down as Addison followed her actions. Callie cleared her throat before talking.

"So you two are getting on well. Something to move in. I bet the whole hospital will know about that now..." Callie bit into her sandwich as she stared at her friend who still looked puzzled.

"I have no idea what he means. He came over, told me he was taking me out on a date and then said to wear something casual that I can move in... move in... What the hell does he mean."

"I don't know but it sounded dirty."

"Oh god it did, didn't it?"

"Yep." Callie added before looking round to the tables surrounding them. Addison slid down her chair, her arms crossed over her chest. Callie put down her sandwich and wiped her hands on a cloth.

"Did he say where he was taking you?"

"Nope, just told me what to wear." Addison said as she looked over to Callie.

"Has he always been this secretive?"

Addison laughed slightly at the thought of their past dating life.

"Yes. There was this one time in med school when he told me to meet him at this hotel, which we'd never been to and he told me to bring a jumper. And when I got there, he got one of the bell boys to take us up to the roof and he'd set up this picnic and lanterns with a beautiful view of central park."

"That's sickening romantic" Callie stated.

"Yeah. He's always been a romantic. He denies it but he's a sucker for a romantic comedy. You should see his DVD collection that he tells people is mine." Addison's smile beamed across her face as she thought of Derek.

"So I guess your just going to have to turn up in something casual, and hope its nothing weird for a first, 'we're working on our marriage' date." Callie laughed at Addison, who was frowning and muttering "Something you can move in" to herself. Callie interrupted Addison abruptly.

"Hey so we're friends right? I mean we're both trust fund babies, and well everyone else around here annoys me with their perkiness."

"Of course we're friends. I like you too Callie." Addison added, mocking Callie with her tone.

"Ok. Good. Have you met Arizona Robbins, the attending in peds?" Callie shifted nervously in her chair.

"The blonde, has those skating shoes that she zooms around in? Yes I've met her, she seems... Happy. She's a great doctor, but perky as you said."

"Yeah she's full of the joys of life, and she's really beautiful and kind and I can't stop finding excuses to talk to her and she's perky, really really perky..." Addison stopped Callie and turned to her friend.

"Wait... Callie are you speaking the vagina monologues now?

"What?" Callie laughed.

"I'm all for it okay. I think its fantastic! Arizona seems great, I really do like her... I actually do. Are you...?" Addison stared quizzically at Callie waiting for a response.

"Um okay that's just... that's just insane is...is...is what it is. I like penis. I mean I'm a huge, HUGE fan of penis..."

"Okay, its just..." Addison added before Callie interrupted.

"Its just I can't stop thinking about her, and every time I do my heart beats faster, and I get clammy. And I'm not a sweaty kind of girl Addison. But she makes me sweaty. Oh god! I'm acting like a teenager." Callie dropped her head into her arms on the table.

"Talk to her, get to know her before you do anything. She may like you too. Just speak to her and make sure you don't touch her with your clammy hands."

"Thanks" Callie muttered before shooting Addison a mocking filthy look.

"I'm here to talk, you can help me with Derek and I'll help you with your ped's surgeon." Addison grabbed her rubbish off the table and went to leave. "If I don't see you today, I'll call you tonight with Derek details. Pray for my sanity. And if you get any ideas of where he's taking me. Text me. And stand tall Torres, and get your head out of your arms!" Addison smiled at Callie before walking away back to her waiting patients.

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><p>Thanks for reading, and I will really try to update sooner!<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

Ok. I admit it. I am the worst- THE WORST at uploading new chapters! I know this one is short, but i just haven't been writing very much recently. But i promise the next chapter is the actual date- I wouldn't rob you of that! I hope you enjoy the next installment. I seriously love writing these two, and just having them like this in my head is a treat! There's no Shonda to taint it! Keep reviewing too- I love reviews :) Keep being excellent! Charlotte x

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><p>It was the night of their first date and Derek sat in the stationary car parked outside the Archfield hotel. He slid his phone into his front pocket and then quickly checked the glove compartment making sure the gift he had bought Addison was safely hidden away until he needed it. He exited the car and locked it before glancing briefly in his mirrors to check he looked decent. He jostled his hair lightly, fighting with a few stray hairs that hadn't succumbed to the product he had smothered it in before he'd left the trailer. Derek walked briskly into the hotel foyer and scanned the room for Addison. As he had expected, she wasn't ready on time. He laughed to himself before pulling out his phone and dialling her familiar number.<p>

"Addie. Let me guess, outfit crisis?"

"_No...well yes. Fine. You're right. But its your fault."_

_ "_I was specific...casual is enough information for anyone." Derek added in jest.

_"Yeah right. You better come up, I shouldn't be much longer. I'm in room 2214."_

"Ok I'll be right up, see you soon. Bye."

_"Bye."_

Derek made his way to the elevator and played with his phone in his hand until he heard the elevator ding as it settled on the ground floor. He entered the mirror festooned box and pressed his thumb into the 22 button before reclining into the wall at the back of the elevator. As he finally reached his floor, he straightened the collar of his shirt that had caught itself underneath his charcoal grey sweater. He walked on the heavily patterned floor, his footsteps muffled by the buoyancy of the carpet until he reached room 2214. He knocked twice and was answered by a towel clad Addison. Her hair was perfectly pinned back, with a few straggles of hair let loose at the front. As usual her makeup was pristine, with a light gloss on her lips that added to her natural beauty. She greeted him with a smile and then walked back into the room. Derek closed the door, stopping briefly as he inhaled the smell of her perfume that had settled into the fabric of her coat that hung on the door. She'd worn the same perfume since they had began dating in medical school- Chanel No 5. Her signature spray. It smelt like home to him and instantly made him feel at ease. He turned towards Addison, who was engrossed in flicking through her temporary and flimsy clothes rail.

"You're going to need more clothing for where we're going" Derek added as he walked towards the clothing rail and gave it a wobble.

"Are you going to tell me where precisely we're going or keep on annoying me?" Addison retorted.

"hmm.. annoying you is so much fun!" Addison turned towards Derek and smirked before smacking his arm. "Ouch!" Derek hissed before walking to her made bed and sitting on the edge. He sat engrossed, as Addison methodically deliberated over the clothes, touching each item briefly as if they were selling themselves to her, enticing her to wear them. Addison deftly pulled a sleeveless and sheer shirt from the pile, and the sea green fabric streaked through the air.

"I'll be right back." Addison said as she bent down to a neatly piled collection of white vests and grabbed the top one, and draped it over her arm as she walked towards the bathroom, not before reaching for her jeans on the sofa.

"Take your time." Derek bellowed behind her as she shut the bathroom door. Derek cleared his throat before taking a minute to walk around Addison's room, taking in the view from her window.

"Montgomery's always get the best rooms." Derek muttered before walking to her night stand. He peered at the myriad of creams that rested on the counter and briefly looked over towards the bathroom before opening the drawer. He chuckled when all he found was a box of half eaten chocolates, a crumpled photo of himself from college and a pile of illegible notes. Derek picked up the photo and thumbed the damaged edges. As he stared at the photo, smiling at the thought that Addison kept it close; the bathroom door unlocked and Addison walked out in perfectly fitted skinny jeans and the shirt that accentuated the colour of her eyes. Derek couldn't stop staring at her, and had forgotten that he had been caught red handed going through her things.

"Snooping?" Addison asked, her eyebrows raised dramatically.

"No. I'm investigating!" Derek replied, before putting the picture back. "Technically that photo is mine, so I can look if I want..."

"You know fine well you gave it to me to look after when I went away for summer in college, you couldn't bare the thought of me gone without a photo of you. So Its mine!" Addison argued with a smirk.

"You make me sound like a love sick teenager." Addison looked at Derek, and smiled at his denial.

"I'm ready to go by the way." Addison added to change the subject. She perched on the sofa, slipping her feet into black louboutins. She stood up and smoothed her shirt before walking towards her coat and slipping it on. "Coming?" she asked. Derek closed the drawer, and walked towards her, grabbing her handbag on route and giving it to her with a smile.

"I was ready 20 minutes ago" He quipped, opening the door for her.

"I was not that long!"She added adamantly, whipping her head around as she walked towards the elevator.

"I've not heard that before."Derek said sarcastically as he walked briskly to catch up with her. They walked together, laughing and waited for the elevator.

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><p>They had been in Derek's land rover for twenty minutes, talking and laughing with ease. Addison had no idea where he was taking her and she took the opportunity to question him.<p>

"Now we're in the car, will you tell me where we're going?"

"We're almost there, I don't want to ruin the surprise!" Addison huffed jokingly. They continued to drive, with Derek giving away no information, much to Addison's annoyance. Finally Derek parked the car and looked at Addison with a comically large smile on his face.

"Bowling?" Addison asked, shocked.

"Bowling." Derek repeated.

"Seriously? You're taking me bowling?" Addison looked between the luminously lit bowling alley and Derek, whose smile had not vanished.

"You love to bowl! Remember when I used to take you back in New York when we were dating?" Addison didn't reply, she was shocked. "Open the glove compartment Addie" Derek requested. She unbuckled her seat beat and cautiously opened the compartment. She pulled out a pair of bright pink socks and stared at them incredulously.

"Socks." She stated, as she turned them over in her hands. Derek laughed heartily.

"I figured you wouldn't be wearing appropriate footwear."He added before looking towards her incredibly high shoes that housed her sock-less feet. Addison looked over at Derek, catching his eye and burst out laughing.

"I hate you." She stuttered, whilst still laughing.

"Come on, we're going to have fun!" Derek got out the car and walked around to the passenger side and opened the car door for her. She slid out nudging his shoulder playfully. Derek locked the car and ran to catch up with her. He placed the palm of his hand on her lower back, guiding her towards the entrance. His hand sent shivers up Addison's back, and she instinctively fell in line closer to his chest. They walked into the atrium of the bowling alley, the smell of stale popcorn being oddly comforting to them both. Addison's shoes stuck slightly to the floor, sticky from years of spilt drinks. They waited in line for their shoes, chatting closely, enthralled in each others companies. They were interrupted by a greasy haired teenager asking their shoe sizes.

"9 for the lady and an 11 for me, thanks" Derek told the clerk politely. Addison watched as the boy went to grab the shoes, taking the opportunity when he was out of ear shot to complain.

"I'm not leaving 900 dollar shoes here Derek!"

"Addison..."

"They could be stolen! You might of noticed, but I'm very attached to my shoes!" Addison added. Derek rolled his eyes and grabbed Addison's hand that was now folded over her chest.

"No one is going to steal your shoes Addison and if by some major turn of events, they disappear. I promise I will buy you a new pair. No matter the ridiculous cost. Okay?" Addison took a moment to mull over his proposal and finally nodded before putting out her other hand, ready for it to be shaken. Derek laughed and shook her hand, and then pulled her closer to him. He draped his arm around her shoulder as they waited for their shoes.


	4. Chapter 4

Woh. I haven't updated in bloody ages. So sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry. But I think this chapter makes up for it. Its my personal favourite of the 4. Please review. I only got two last time, and after you guys showered me with reviews on the first two chapters I was disheartened. Your reviews mean the world to me, So get back on track and review :) Let me know if you don't like anything or if there are scenes in grey's you would like me to integrate. Or any other ideas! And enjoy, this was a lot of fun to write, so hopefully that comes across in the writing! and I'll get around to replying to reviews because like I said, they really do mean the world! Thanks, Charlotte.

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><p>Derek and Addison sit side by side on warped plastic chairs. They both concentrate on tying their black and red bowling shoes, sitting in momentary silence as they lace them up tightly. Addison breaks the silence as she sticks her feet forward, staring at them from a distance. She opens her mouth, almost at a loss at what to say.<p>

"Well these are a fashion statement." The look of disgust is met with a smirk from Derek.

"It could be worse..." he added as he got up from his seat and turned to look for their lane. Addison also got up and pulled her jeans down after they had bunched around her thighs.

"How could it possibly get any worse than these...clown shoes!" she said as they started walking towards their lane. Derek slowed and turned to her.

"You could be one of those people who have to wear the Velcro shoes. No one pulls off Velcro...though you'd no doubt give it a good Forbes Montgomery effort." Addison laughs, her smile beaming at the jesting between them.

"Shut up." she adds as she bumps shoulders with him. They reach their lane and Addison descends to their designated lane. She turns around to see Derek at the top of the stairs.

"You know...I think bowling is a two person sport Derek." she says sarcastically. Derek rolls his eyes at her before leaning on the banister.

"I was going to go get you a drink, after all I have never seen you partake in any sport without a drink in your hand." Derek retorts.

"Oh well in that case..." Addison shrugs as Derek laughs and walks towards the bar. Addison turns on the spot, the smooth plastic of her sole allowing her to spin with grace. Addison sits on the stool by the computer screen and taps her fingers whilst she tries to think of names for them. She types in her choice as Derek comes back, two frosted glasses and a pitcher of beer in his hands. He puts them on their table, pouring them quickly and handing Addison a glass, keeping eye contact with her.

"Beer?" She asks, the raise of her eyebrow telling Derek exactly how she was feeling. He takes a large gulp before replying.

"Its hardly a cocktail bar Addie. Plus, now we fit in with the locals." He smiles, whilst brandishing his arm around to their neighbours, all of whom were drinking beer. Addison throws him an incredulous glare, before taking a sip of her drink. Derek laughs and grabs a bowling ball, playing with it like a weight.

"Ladies first." He adds as he points towards their lane and continues to flex his muscles, like he's warming up. Addison rolls her eyes at Derek's show of masculinity before picking up a midnight blue ball and walking towards the lane. Derek sits by the computer taking a gulp of beer as he reads their names on the screen. He bursts out laughing, spilling the liquid from his mouth. Addison turns around smirking.

"Fitting, don't you think?"She questions whilst he wipes the beer of his chin.

"Very. How did you know they called me McDreamy?" He asked. She didn't reply straight away, instead she concentrated on her turn, and returned after her two turns were over. She leaned near Derek as he stood to grab a ball.

"Well, the nurses talk...a lot. About a doctor with the hair and the famous McDreamy smile." She responds, moving closer to where he was standing.

"Really?" he asks, unable to hide the flirting tone to his question. Addison smirks slightly before replying.

"And being a double board certified doctor. I put two and two together." Addison moves further towards Derek until their hips are almost touching. "I am after all...Incredibly...smart." She teases.

"I don't doubt it Dr Shepherd." He adds whilst looking at Addison. He can feel the heat off her body as her arm grazes his. He leans forward, his face inches away from hers and Addison subconsciously licks her bottom lip. They stay close for seconds before Derek grins and whispers in her ear.

"Its my turn. You can't win this by flirting." Addison breathes heavily as she feels his hot breath on her neck.

"Well I can try, Right?" She retorts, letting a breath out as she sits down on the bench to have her drink. She takes a needed gulp, the heat in her cheeks subsiding. Derek throws a strike before sitting next to her, taking his drink too.

"I think points get deducted at the end for sabotage." he quips.

"Is Flirtatious sabotage rife in the bowling community?" She adds with a flick of her eyebrow.

"Like you wouldn't believe...and its your turn...wait what was it you referred to yourself as?" Derek leaned back towards the screen and then added "Ah yes... Ruler of all that is evil. Its your turn to bowl. Note, the lack of flirting on my part. Good sportsmanship."

"Lack of flirtatious game you mean." She cheekily remarks and before she can sneak off quickly to bowl. Derek grabs her around the stomach pulling her into his lap. They stop laughing, and Addison's arm moves around his neck, her hand brushing with the back of his hair. She gently rubs the back of his neck and he smiles at her, the creases of his laughter lines branching out widely. Her mouth opens to say something, but he speaks for her as his hand moves down her side to her hip.

"Its your turn Montgomery." she laughs gently, The loose hairs around her face jutting forward slightly. She tucks them behind her ear before putting her hand on his shoulder and swinging her legs around to climb off him.

They finish their first game and Derek stands victorious in the first round. To ease her suffering, Derek goes off in search of more alcohol. Addison takes the opportunity to sit and think about their last hour together. She feels completely at ease, but it worries her. She doesn't want to jump back into their easy back and forth conversations. Skipping the details that entail fighting and loathing. Before she can contemplate and over think the situation, Derek returns drinks in hand. Addison smiles as he hands her a drink she would deem as 'proper'.

"Long island Ice tea, for your delicate wasp taste buds." He jokes as he sits next to her, sipping on another beer. She takes an apprehensive sip, expecting it to taste atrocious. But she lets out a breathy "Wow." as she takes another sip.

"Good?" Derek asks.

"As good as you'd get in New York. I'm impressed. That's two points to Seattle now." She takes another drink as she leans back into her chair.

"Two points?" Derek asks confused. She turns to face him and adds.

"Well... all Seattle had in its favour was cute view finders, but now I can add good liquor to the list. My appreciation of the city grows."

"Cute view finder huh?" Derek laughs as he looks at Addison who is smiling back at him.

"What can I say, I've got a thing for them." She retorts making Derek laugh again. They start their new game, keeping their touching to a minimal but continuing with their flirtatious conversations. Derek sits and watches Addison bowl, knowing its annoying her that she hasn't got a strike. He laughs to himself at her stubbornness and it isn't until they near the end of their game that she finally gets her break. She watches the ball veer to the side and winces, her hands balled at her side. But as it settles towards the middle and wipes out the pins, she runs towards Derek, hands in the air and falls into his embrace. His hand rests on the bottom of her back as he lifts her slightly. She laughs into his neck and she pulls her head away until she has eye contact with him. He lowers her to the ground and a single laugh escapes her as she catches her breath. He smiles adoringly at her, his eyes swimming over the happiness festooned on her face. He touches her cheek and she briefly closes her eyes.

"Nice shot..." He whispers, as she opens her eyes. Her hands stay wrapped around his neck as she thanks him. "But you've still lost." He smirks as she scoffs at him.

"Well I'll have to live with that." she adds, pretending to look defeated. "In my defence, I was too busy trying to flirt to properly get my head in the game." Derek rolls his eyes but smiles at her as she walks away from him towards the bench. They finish their drinks and half heartedly end the game, knowing its outcome. Derek holds Addison's coat for her, as she threads her arms into the fabric. The movement of her arms, causes the smell of her perfume to waft into his direction and he sighs happily. Addison turns around and frowns ever so slightly, not understanding the look of contentment of Derek's face after helping her into her jacket.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Yes, just a quick bathroom break and then I'm ready to go." They walk towards the exit, Derek's hand resting on her back as he moves them through the crowd of people. She touches his arm as she breaks away from him. "I wont be long. Wait for me over by the door." She smiles as he nods and she walks towards the bathroom. Derek walks towards the door, but stops short, noticing the glass box filled with toys and a looming claw, enticing him to play. He looks over his shoulder and quickly inserts quarters. He mutters to himself as his first go misses and he nervously checks over his shoulder again. On his second go he grabs a seal precisely and empties it into the hole. He'd performed easier brain surgery he laughs to himself, not before quickly stuffing the toy into his coat pocket away from Addison's prying eyes.

Their car journey is comfortably quiet, the odd remark being met with shared laughter. Derek and Addison walk towards the hotel, hand in hand against the bitter cold night. Their bodies huddle together as they walk quickly into the foyer. They stay holding hands until they get to the elevator and Addison breaks contact to press the button.

"I really enjoyed tonight Derek... really, it was... it was wonderful." Derek moves closer towards Addison but is stopped momentarily by the dinging of the elevator interrupting their goodbye. They both glance inside to see its empty and turn back towards each other smiling. Derek moves again towards Addison and kisses her gently. She steps into the kiss, not caring when the elevator door closes and her hand rests on his cheek. Their kiss lingers as Derek brings his hand to Addison's hip, pulling her closer to him. He breaks from her lips, and strokes her cheek whilst staring at her features. He smiles as she sighs contently, her head falling slightly into his hand. He kisses her again, a light peck that lasts a few seconds.

"Goodnight Addison." He adds before letting go of her hip and walking back out into the cold Seattle night.

"Goodnight Derek." Addison barely whispers, as she watches him walk away, his hand running through his hair as he looks back once more at her, a smile beaming from ear to ear.


	5. Chapter 5

There is no apology good enough for the lateness of this update. It's been over a year! YIKES! I have no excuse other than undoubtedly the worst case of lazyitus ever experienced! Hopefully there are still people interested in the story. I hope you enjoy it, and I really do hope It doesn't take me as long to update. Enjoy... and review! Charlotte.

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><p>Derek greeted his fellow doctors as he put away patient files at the nurses station. He dropped his pen back into his pocket, securing it in position before making his way towards the doctor's office's on the 4th floor. As he approached Addison's office, he peaked through the glass, scanning the room to see if she was in it. Derek let himself into the room, walking around her desk and gently touching the things that she had placed on it. He sat in her chair, swinging from side to side as he took in everything around him. The office seemed like any office apart from the few touches that Addison had added to make it more personal: numerous photos of their nieces and nephews, their wedding photo and the framed lyrics of the song Derek and Mark had haphazardly scribbled down before their performance at their wedding. Derek picked the frame up and chuckled before placing it back on her desk next to a half drunk cup of coffee. Derek smiled and wiped at the lipstick mark on the cup, smudging the rouge stain between his thumb and finger. Derek stood up to leave and pushed the chair under the desk. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the toy seal he had won on their date the previous night. He placed it on her desk, and reached into his lab coat and pulled out a single lily that he lay on top of the toy. Derek left Addison's office, quietly shutting the door with a grin on his face. He took one more look through the glass and tapped the door, excited to see Addison later. He walked down the hallway towards the elevator and pulled his scrub cap out of his back pocket. He tied it into place and stood with his hands behind his back as the waited for the elevator, ready to scrub into his surgery.<p>

Addison stared at the surgical board, noting that Derek would be in surgery for another 2 hours. She walked away towards the nurses station to grab her patient files. Addison stood, leaning on the desk. Her glasses sat perched on the end of her nose as she meticulously studied the notes for the day. Behind her Callie came strutting down the corridor with two coffee's. Her hair was thrown haphazardly on top of her head and her lab coat was rolled to the elbows in her signature look. She approached Addison, sliding the coffee towards her as she lent against the desk staring ahead of her. Addison put her file down and took a sip of the coffee before turning to Callie.

"Hey." she said whilst taking the lid off her coffee.

"So?" Callie asked whilst staring at Addison intently.

"So what?" Addison replied, not breaking eye contact.

"Oh come on! Give me the details... the nasty... sexy details. Tell me everything!" Callie smirked as Addison rolled her eyes.

"You know you don't really know me... and I don't know you. So the sexy details..."

"Shut up! We're friends- I brought you coffee... delicious... dreamy coffee." Callie was virtually bouncing on the balls of her feet as Addison raised an eyebrow into her signature half amused glare. She eventually relented to Callie's growing impatience.

"Okay.. okay. I'll tell." Addison took another sip of coffee before putting it back on the nurses station and turning towards Callie. Addison took a deep breathe as she contemplated how to start.

"Honestly? It was perfect... and unnerving and... and I felt like a teenager. We had adultery and indifference. Our marriage was barely held together. You can't have that and then have that _perfect_ date." Addison rubbed her cheek with frustration. " I'm just so confused... and something isn't right but I can't put my finger on it... not yet. So that's the nasty details." Callie sighed, taking her time to respond.

"Did you kiss?" She asked eagerly. Addison laughed and looked away momentarily.

"Yes, we did." As she answered, she began walking away from Callie towards her consult in the NICU.

"Woh! Hey... wait- Addison!" Callie shouted at Addison before she quickly began to trail behind her, struggling to keep up the pace with Addison's leggy strides. Addison replied over her shoulder.

"I have a consult- There are sick babies who requires my world class skills." Callie huffed behind her, finally catching up as Addison waited for the elevator.

"You can't walk off without telling me the details." Callie exclaimed whilst leaning against the elevator buttons.

"I've nothing more to add." Addison added as she walked into the elevator and Callie stood at the entrance, hands on hips.

"Was it at least good?" Callie asked. Addison raised her eyebrows and shrugged her shoulders with a smirk painted on her face as the elevator door closed leaving an exasperated Callie behind.

It was late morning and Addison had finished rounding with her patients. She had left Izzie with instructions to keep watch on the babies in the NICU so she could get on with her paperwork. Addison entered her office, putting her fresh cup of coffee on the desk, not noticing the gift waiting for her. She hung her lab coat up and sat on the sofa, taking her high heels off and flexed her toes as she paraded around the room in comfort. Addison went over to her filing cabinet and began rifling through the many patient files. She absentmindedly lifted one foot and rubbed it repeatedly against her calf as she hunted for the needed folder. The phone began to ring and she walked towards her desk, sitting down before answering the phone. As Addison picked up the receiver, she started playing with the papers on her desk.

"Dr Montgomery-Shepherd speaking... yes... no no- keep him on the vent." As Addison replied to the NICU nurse and listened to her respond, she swung in her chair until she was facing the centre of her desk. A huge grin erupted on her face as she noticed the gift from Derek.

"Yep, keep him sedated...how many mg's is he on?" Addison brought the lily to her nose as the nurse answered her question. She smiled and put it back on the desk before picking the toy up questionably, turning it over in the hand to look for some sort of clue. She continued to swing in her chair, facing the glass wall that looked onto the outside of the hospital. The seal toy lay in her lap as she continued to talk with the nurse.

"Okay keep him on that dosage and get Dr Stevens to page me if he continues to trigger the vent. Okay...Thanks. Bye." Addison turned back to her desk and put the phone back in the cradle and the toy next to the lily. She rested her elbows on the table as she stared at the seal toy- still questioning why Derek had given it to her. Unbeknownst to Addison, Derek had been leaning by her office door watching her on the phone. When she had hung up, he took a moment, looking at her confused face before knocking lightly on the door. Addison whipped her head towards the door when Derek knocked and smiled at him leaning into the door jam with an amused look on his face.

"Hey." she said as Derek came and sat across from her.

"Hey yourself." He added with a smile. Addison lifted the seal toy in lieu of a question, a smile plastered on her face. Derek laughed at her.

"Well?" she asked.

"Don't you like it? I know its not Chanel but still...I won it for you." Derek smirked as Addison laughed.

"You won it for me? When?" Derek lent over the desk, taking the seal out of her hands.

"I won it last night at the bowling alley-You'd gone the bathroom. It was an impulsive act of chivalry." Derek said as he put the seal back on the desk.

"Really? Who knew you were capable of such a romantic gesture." Addison added before walking around her desk and lightly kissing Derek on the lips. Her hands rested on his shoulders, and as she pulled away she tidied the lapels on his lab coat. "Thank you."

"I haven't even mentioned the difficulty of the claw machine- I nearly came away empty handed." Derek noted as Addison walked over to the sofa and gestured for him to join her.

"Well you are a talented surgeon. Those skills have got to be good for something." Addison mocked as Derek sat down next to Addison. His hand grazed against hers, pausing by her fingers that splayed as he touched them. "Derek..." Addison whispered.

"Yeah?" Derek answered, distractedly.

"I can't concentrate when you do that."

"I know..." Derek replied. Addison sighed before taking Derek's hand into her own and gave it a light squeeze.

"We need to talk...about the date... and New York... and..." Derek cut her off.

"I know. I promise we will." Derek lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm.

"Derek..." Addison closed her eyes as Derek tucked her hair behind her ear and pulled her jaw to the side so he could place a light kiss on her lips.

"Have dinner with me?" Derek asked quietly by her ear, kissing her lobe before he lent back against the sofa.

"Okay- but we do need to talk. I'm not nagging, I'm just confused." Addison added as she looked at Derek who was staring at Addison.

"I want the same thing Addie, we'll talk tonight. I'll even cook."

"It better not be trout." Addison quipped. Derek chuckled and kissed her forehead.

"I think you'll find I catch a very tasty trout. Thank you very much." Derek got up off the sofa and pulled Addison up with him. "However for you, trout is off the menu."

"Thank you. Now go- you've already distracted me from my work." Addison pecked Derek on the lips and ushered him out of her office.

"Come find me when you're ready to leave." Derek said as he once again leaned against the door jam. Addison pushed him out the door playfully.

"I will. I'll see you later." Derek stole one more quick kiss before Addison shut the door and pressed her body against it, sighing with a content smile on her face.


	6. Chapter 6

Hi everyone, Once again its been too long! So here is the longgggg overdue chapter. I really enjoyed writing the angst. Hope you enjoy it and I look forward to your reviews.

Just a quick side note- I had a review that was wondering if I was british given my vocabulary used. I am definitely 100% british, I am just an avid reader who loves to pick up odd phrases and yummy new words to use in my own writing. I actually teach english as a foreign language, so I can see how my quite formal language and use of vocab could be misconstrued! Charlotte.

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><p>After a long surgery and mountains of paperwork, Derek waited outside the OR biding his time at the nurses station. Addison was due out of surgery at any moment and he was keeping himself busy with clerical work. His thought were interrupted by his intern for the day, Dr O'Malley.<p>

"Um, Dr Shepherd?" George asked anxiously.

"Yes Dr O'Malley?" Derek replied whilst shutting a chart and slotting it back into the rack. Derek turned to Dr O'Malley, waiting for the intern to continue their conversation.

"I know uh... well I was wondering if uh... Dr Bailey usually assigns us to cases...but I was um...hoping..." George fidgeted about with the pen in his hand as he attempted to talk to his superior.

"Spit it out O'Malley, I was hoping to leave this evening." Derek quipped as his patience for the intern waned. George shifted on his feet and half laughed.

"Could I please stay assigned to the Hayes case? I know you haven't operated yet... and uh you usually let Dr Bailey assign you an intern for the day but I'd really like to continue with the case... I mean the family and Jamie like me... and I've..." Derek cut George off with a raised hand.

"O'Malley, relax. I was already intending to keep you on the case. The Hayes are very comfortable with your competency. We scrub at 4pm. I expect all of Jamie's prep op to be prepared by 3pm." George looked on excitedly at Derek, practically jumping on the spot.

"Thank you Dr Shepherd, I wont let you down. I'll go check on her now." George walked away with a huge grin on his face and a spring in his step. As he rounded the corner, he passed Addison and Alex Karev on their way to the nurses station; his enthusiasm earned him a sceptical and judgemental stare from Karev.

"You did good work in there Karev." Addison said whilst looking intently at her intern. She began to take off her scrub cap, fiddling to untie the knot at the nape of her neck. " I'll make a neonatal surgeon out of you one day..." She joked as Karev rolled his eyes. Addison smiled and held out her hand for her intern to pass her the chart. As they encroached upon the nurses station, Addison's eyes immediately found Derek's and she smiled broadly at him, the laughter lines around her eyes branching outwards.

"Hey..." Addison said softly, as she continued to take in Derek, his slightly dishevelled shirt and ruffled hair making her heart feel full.

"Hey." Derek replied, equalling her smile and staring intently. They were interrupted by an impatient Alex Karev, who had been standing like a spare part whilst the Shepherds greeted each other.

"Hello... seriously?" Alex looked between the Shepherds, dumbfounded by their ignorant bliss. Addison was the first to break contact eye, and shifted slightly to address her intern.

"Are you on call tonight Karev?" she asked.

"Yep." Alex answered automatically.

"I want you to monitor the Thompson baby in post op, with hourly updates to his chart- any problems and you page Harris, he's the on call resident tonight and is overseeing the NICU for the evening. Any questions?"

"Nope." Addison opened the chart, checked all the details and signed the bottom of the page before closing it and handing it reluctantly to Alex's open hand. Alex rolled his eyes slightly.

"I'll be fine, you don't need to worry about a thing, I got this covered... your vagina squad will be fine for the night." Alex smirked cockily at Addison as she raised her eyebrow in scepticism before turning to leave. She beckoned for Derek to follow by tilting her head towards him.

"Don't mess up Karev, you don't want to be on the wrong side of Addison." Derek warned as he left, running to catch up with Addison, a smile on his face. Derek caught up with the leggy red head and wrapped his arm around her waist.

"You ready to go? I've got a steak and a beer with your name on it." His hand travelled to her bare arm and he stroked it gently.

"You have no idea how good that sounds right now. I just need to quickly get changed out of my scrubs and then I am all yours." Addison smiled at Derek as they walked in synchrony.

"Yes you are." Derek quipped and he grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers together. Addison instinctively moved closer to Derek as they continued in the direction of the staff lockers together.

"You're going to have to let go of me if I'm to get changed." Addison said as Derek looked down to their hands. He ran his thumb across her skin before begrudgingly letting go.

"Well you had better hurry up then." He stated with a grin on his face. Addison began walking away weaving between rushing Doctors; she looked over her shoulder briefly to see Derek leaning against a railing, staring attentively at her. She turned back around, heading for the locker door, she was confused as ever by Derek's displays of affection. Addison couldn't help but wonder where this Derek had been for the past two years of their marriage; and what had happened for her to see the Derek she thought she had lost a long time ago. Addison ran a hand through her hair and sat on the bench outside her locker, contemplating how her night was going to continue with Derek, her familiar stranger.

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><p>Addison sat in a chair on the porch of Derek's trailer, her legs crossed as she took in her surrounding area. She sat under an umbrella of stars, with the low glare of tea lights encompassing her. She had to admit, the land itself was beautiful with its walls of forestry; she felt as if she was in her own private park, with no interruption from the outside world. She could hear Derek shuffling around inside the cramped trailer, his shadow flickering by the door occasionally. Eventually he emerged with an endless grin on his face and hands laden with raw steak and salad for their dinner. He sat down next to her, placing the food on the table.<p>

"You want a beer?" he asked without looking at her as he began rummaging behind his chair for the cooler.

"Sure." she responded, as she watched Derek's comfortability with great interest. He handed Addison an icy cool beer and sat back in his chair, sighing in contentment. "You've certainly made yourself at home out here...why would you ever want to leave when you have a stocked cooler and that view?" Addison took a large swig of her beer, and Derek followed suit.

"Its pretty great huh?"He prodded, waiting for her response.

"You don't get my full opinion until its daylight, you could be hiding a multitude of sins with your mood lighting." She joked, smirking at him. "Although I can already tell you my feelings on that tin can you seem to be camping in." Derek rolled his eyes and moved to place the steaks on the grill. He shot Addison a flirty look as he went back into the trailer to put away the plate from the meat. He took his time inside the trailer, and unbeknownst to Addison, changed into shorts and a long sleeve t-shirt for comfort. The door of the trailer creaked as Derek backed out with plates in his hand. Addison cocked her head in his direction as he came to sit back down.

"You got changed." she stated, giving him a once over.

"Well we're not in a Michelin starred restaurant, figured I may as well be relaxed." He took a swig of his beer and continued, "I laid out some sweat pants and a t-shirt if you want to relax too, I don't know how you breathe in that dress, let alone relax in it." He too gave Addison a once over, smiling at her as she fidgeted in her dress, aware of his staring. "They aren't pyjamas Addison, I'm not trying to pull any funny business, I just want you to be comfy and relaxed for dinner." Addison mulled over his suggestion, fidgeting again in her dress that admittedly, was somewhat formal for the trailer.

"Fine..." she muttered, walking past Derek before turning to him, "Is the bedroom on the first or second floor?" She asked with a smirk as she entered the trailer.

"Har har." Derek said sarcastically, watching her enter the trailer before turning his attention to their dinner. Addison slowly encroached upon the bedroom, her hands skimming the panelling of the kitchen and the glorified hallway. As promised, Derek had laid out clothing for her- clothes that had been old friends for years. She made light work of getting out of her dress, parading around the room in her bra and knickers; briefly peeking out of the window to get a glimpse of Derek. The bedroom was sparse, everything hidden away in little alcoves in the skeleton of the trailer. Addison sat on the bed as she pulled on the sweat pants, tucking the bottom into thick socks to stave of the cold. She slipped the ratty Columbia T-shirt over her head, smoothing it down once it was at home on her body. Not quite satisfied, she peered into his wardrobe in search of a jumper to wear. With no luck she sat on Derek's side of the bed, where his glasses and book sat on the table. She opened the drawer of his bedside cabinet and found the jumper she was looking for; she pulled it out and held it on her lap. Intrigued, Addison picked up Derek's book to see what he was reading, and out slipped a photo onto her jumper clad knee. A small gasp escaped Addison's mouth as she looked at a wedding photo of herself and Derek. She held the photo to her breast as she closed her eyes and sighed.

"You okay in there Addie?" Derek hollered through the trailer door.

"Yeah.. I'm.. a... I'm just coming now." Addison got up and shuffled around the room before putting the picture in her pocket. She slipped the jumper over her head, pulling her hair free from the collar before leaving his bedroom and heading toward the deck.

"Better?" Derek asked as she sat back down and grabbed her beer.

"Much, thank you." She replied, looking intensely at Derek for a moment before looking away at the land in front of her. They sat in silence together, the only sound being the swigging of their beer and the sizzling of the grill. Derek broke their silence, cocking his head to the side as she continued to stare outwards.

"Are you..." Addison cut him off.

"I thought I'd lost it." she stated, turning to look at Derek's confused face. She pulled the photo out of her pocket, placing it on the table. "After you left, I looked for it but couldn't find it... I thought I was going mad." Derek picked the photo up, unfurling the edges with his thumbs, he looked up at Addison who had turned back to the landscape. He sighed, blowing out his cheeks; he kept the picture in his hand.

"I... I couldn't leave without it. The next day- you know- when you were at work. I took it with me, I didn't want to be without some little part of us. I needed to..." his breathe caught in his throat and he cleared it away. "I needed to be able to see you...have you with me." The emotion was clear in Derek's throat as he cleared it again. Addison flicked at a single tear that had fallen, wiping it into her skin.

"You left me, you didn't have _me_ with you. You left..."

"I know Addison... But in a way, I did have you with me. I've thought about you, and about and me- about us every _single_ god damn day I've been here." Addison turned her body in the direction of Derek, who was sat with his head in his hands.

"Its not the same Derek... Its...I'm...I'm scared to death that you are going to leave me again." Addison whispered the last part, as if she was saying it to herself. Derek rubbed at his face before moving his chair to be closer to Addison. He tentatively held her hand in his own hands.

"I'm not going anywhere Addison." He whispered back to her, wiping away another tear that had escaped. She looked directly at Derek, her brow furrowed with emotion.

"Why did you leave me Derek? Why couldn't you stay and _fight _for us? We're..." Derek interrupted her.

"Addison and Derek." Addison continued to look at Derek, her gaze intensifying as she waited for his answer. Tears were running freely down her cheek now, and Derek couldn't stop himself from kissing her cheeks to stem the tears. Her body sunk into his presence, unable to fight off its want of being touched.

"Why didn't you fight?" Addison pleaded almost inaudibly as Derek rested his head against hers. "I needed you...so much...I..." Derek moved his arms around Addison until he was holding her tightly, his hand splayed on her back as the other held her head. They wept together, their legs and bodies meshed together as Derek repeatedly whispered,

"I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry..." into Addison's hair. They continued to hold each other, silent bar the whispers of their apologies to one another. Eventually they separated, each pulling away to wipe their faces and smile weakly at each other. Derek reached out to cup Addison's cheek.

"I'll never leave you alone, never again." Addison nodded into Derek's hand, her eyes closed, but tears still falling.

"I'm yours, only yours." she whispered and Derek nodded in understanding. Addison reached out to stroke the hair from Derek's forehead and he kissed the soft flesh of her arm, pressing his lips into its warmth. Addison looked deep into Derek's eyes, acknowledging the mirrored pain on his face. "Can I...Can.." she stuttered, trying to find the words to a question that had plagued her thoughts.

"What is it? Anything... you can ask me anything Addie."

"What...What made you change your mind?...Want me back?" Derek sighed deeply and went to hold Addison's hand again. He absently drew shapes on her skin as he contemplated his answer.

"I had a patient, about a week before you arrived- a woman. Bonnie. She'd been in this... God Addison, it was one of the worst trauma's I'd seen. She had a pole- this huge pole going through her and another man. Straight through her spine and chest. Severed her spine completely. She was so sweet and still full of hope...and kind. She was so kind. We tried to come up with a plan to get them both off the pole safely. You know, give them both a chance. But we couldn't... I...I... couldn't think of any way of doing it. Not without killing them both. So we made a choice. And she knew- She knew we were making a choice on viability of patient. But she still had hope... and ah... she asked me to ah... to tell her fiancée something if she died in surgery."

"What did she want you to tell him?" Addison asked, noticing Derek's growing sadness. Derek cleared his throat.

"She wanted him to know, that if love were enough...that if love were enough, she would still be with him." Addison squeezed Derek's hand and he lifted her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss into her palm. "We have a chance to fix us, we aren't broken or severed yet... and our love is enough. We have enough love to continue together. That's what changed it for me... I couldn't continue to live in a world where I existed without you."

"I don't want to exist without you either... and I'm scared. But I'd rather be scared with you than without you." Addison reached out and placed both hands on either side of Derek's face. "We're Addison and Derek, and _we don't quit_." Derek nodded into her hands and Addison kissed him on the lips as Derek moved his hands onto her hips to pull her in closer. Addison pulled away, planting a chaste kiss onto Derek's lips and stroking his cheek. She sat back down on her chair and took a deep breathe, and blew it out before grabbing her beer and taking a large gulp. She turned her head to Derek, who was also taking a large swig from his beer.

"Have you burnt my steak?"Addison joked in an attempt to break the emotion that was still rife between them. Derek took one look at the steaks on the grill.

"Yes." Derek replied, laughing half heartedly.

"I don't care." Addison replied as both her and Derek laughed together. "I'm so tired." Addison sighed.

"Stay?" Derek asked hopefully.

"No funny business?" Addison questioned, as Derek stood up to take her hand.

"No funny business. I'm tired too." Addison and Derek walked into the trailer together, depositing their beer bottles on the kitchen table. They climbed into bed, taking the sides the had habitually slept in for over 15 years. They turned to face each other, coiled in similar fashion.

"Good night Derek." Addison said softly, stroking his face. Derek closed his eyes momentarily as she gently caressed his face.

"Night Addie- I love you." They both moved in the bed till they were spooning one another. Addison pulled Derek's arm tightly over her stomach and sighed contently into his back before inclining her head towards his and whispering,

"I love you too." Derek kissed the soft nape of her neck, and nuzzled into her awaiting the sleep they both desperately needed.

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><p>Again- please leave me feedback, I really love to hear everyones thoughts!<p> 


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